The Grammys: Postblogging

Here in L.A., I can't liveblog the Grammys. By the time we see the show, it's over, even though it took place this year just a few miles away downtown.

1. Police reunion: Stewart Copeland, the drummer, is hot, although we've all seen Sting's muscley bod enough times not to be impressed by it any more.
2. Stevie Wonder towers over Tony Bennett. Who knew? Guess I took that "Little Stevie Wonder" thing literally.
3. Beyonce, doing "Listen," from Dreamgirls, gets the love that Oscar didn't show her. Good performance, forgettable song.
4. Quick quiz: What singer's sister was married to Booker T. Jones, of Booker T. and the MGs, here getting a Lifetime Achievement Award? That's right, Rita Coolidge's sister Priscilla.
5. The idea of putting Corinne Bailey Rae, John Legend, and John Mayer together in a medley may have been a good idea on paper, and I like the first two artists a lot, but in reality this number sent me to the kitchen looking for snacks. Dullsville.
6. Shakira, showing us her bellydancing chops while Wyclef toasts (and does backflips) is awesome. Unlike Beyonce, she does not give the impression that she is always thinking about how great she looks.
7. Another mismatched pair: Seal towers over Burt Bacharach, who seems minute. In self-defense, Bacharach asks Seal to write a song with him.
8. In case we can't figure out how they feel about the Bush administration and/or the Country Music Association, Grammy voters let us know by awarding Song of the Year to the Dixie Chicks' "Not Ready to Make Nice."
9. Some tots from a TV sitcom announce that the Grateful Dead have won a Lifetime Achievement Award; Mickey Hart and Bill Kreutzman are in the audience. Where's Phil? I still miss Jerry.
10. Gnarls Barkley does "Crazy" as a dirge, complete with choir, but Cee-Lo and Danger Mouse rock in airline pilots' uniforms.
11. "You Don't Know Me: Songs of Cindy Walker" by Willie Nelson does not win for best country album, but you should definitely download the title song if you have not done so already.
12. Bob Wills gets a Lifetime Achievement Award; Carrie Underwood, backed by fine musicians, barely makes it through "San Antone."
13. Ornette Coleman! Cooler than anyone there, and wearing an embroidered black satin suit as he gets a Lifetime Achievement Award from Natalie Cole (how many of these do they give out?)
14. In a tribute to James Brown, Christina Aguilera belts "It's a Man's, Man's, Man's World" so convincingly that Jamie Foxx sits up and takes notice.
15. The memorial segment wraps up with early footage of James Brown doing his moves. As the film fades, one of the members of his band (I didn't know who it was) brought the Godfather of Soul's red glitter cape upstage, held it out for all to see, and draped it on the microphone stand.
16. James Blunt, who allegedly threw a snit fit when told he'd have to make his long song snappy, dedicates the interminable-at-any-length "You're Beautiful" to Ahmet Ertegun, who minutes earlier was seen on film talking about the primacy of black music -- which this, er, is not.
17. It's 10:50, here's Jennifer Hudson to announce the talent contest winner, and Beyonce is no longer in the building.
18. Talent contest winner Robyn Troupe sings "Ain't No Sunshine" with Justin Timberlake. Fun Fact: the original Bill Withers version of this song was produced by Booker T. Jones.
19. A highly caffeinated, at the least, Quentin Tarantino announces Record of the Year with Tony Bennett, who indeed is compact. Or is QT tall?
20. Props to the Red Hot Chili Peppers, who did their melodic and athletic thing in front of a clearly improvised sign that read "LOVE TO ORNETTE COLEMAN." At least someone else realized he was the coolest dude in the room.
21. Finally....Al Gore presents with Queen Latifah. They are the same size and shape. I'm not sure which of them this bodes ill for.